I thought the chorus to this song fit perfectly at the moment..."Sounds like life to me, aint no destiny, Yeah, the only thing for certain is uncertainty, You gotta hold on tight, just enjoy the ride, Get used to all this unpredictability, sounds like life...Man, I know its tough but you gotta suck it up, To hear you talk you're caught up in some tragedy, Sounds like life to me!"
What a whirlwind we've gone through in the past couple of weeks...I know there's a purpose for everything, but I wish that I could just see where all of this is leading to and when we will be able to get back to some kind of normalcy.
So when we saw the doctor for the follow up ultrasound on Tuesday June 29th to see how everything was going with the brain, placenta and his growth. He said some things in the office to us that caused us some concern, but he kept reiterating that he was not concerned with anything and that at the moment we were discharged from his care unless I start measuring small, and then they will see me again for another ultrasound to make sure things are still okay. We finally saw Margie on Tuesday and got the results that the doctor faxed over to her...we were supposed to meet her last Wednesday, but she double booked and accidentally fell back to sleep too...oops. So we went over the results and everything looks good. He is measuring on track. At that appointment he was measuing about 2lbs 4oz which is average. The doctor said given Manny's and my height, he will probably be a smaller baby. The problem the doctor had seen with the brain was "unremarkable" this time but that the lateral ventricle was measuring 11mm, just above the normal 10mm (probably an insignificant finding considering how ultrasounds are not 100% accurate due to the human aspect of it...plus 1mm is very very tiny). The placental cysts have grown some, one is 12mm the other 17mm, but still small in the grand scheme of things, and at this point all you can do is keep monitoring his growth and if there is any slow down, then I would be checked again. Margie measured me and I'm still measuring 5cm big...@ 29 weeks, my belly is measuring 34cm...so obviously he is still growing well and there is no concern that he is being restricted in any way :) Yay! His heart rate was 129, but started going up at the end, so he must have been sleeing and she woke him up :)
Other than that, we have a completely healthy baby, praise the Lord! So as long as the doctor is giving us the okay, and he continues to grow without any problems, I still plan on having a home birth. We have spent many sleepless nights, and shed many tears about our options, but in the end, I still feel that this is what is best for the baby and myself. He will be seen by a pediatrician within 24-48 hours after birth (depending on if he's born on the weekend or week day) which has always been Margie's policy, but is also a reccommendation from the doctor as well. I know that not everyone agrees with the decision we have made, but it is ours to make, and I hope that everyone can respect it.
Our current dilemma is regarding our housing situation. I am extemely upset with the Obama administration's idea of bailing out the banks because they were the problem to begin with and they're still not helping out people (anyway that's for another forum)...so, we are in the process of trying to short sale our home because otherwise, the bank will be selling our house on July 29th and we will be forced to move out shortly after that...being 7 months pregnant and having to move is not what I had in mind, but that's where we're at, so we must deal with it. At the moment, it looks like we will be moving in with his parents temporarilly while we get some financial things straightened out so I can qualify for a better loan to be able to close faster on a house...so that'll be about 2 months from now (right around my due date, joy joy) If it's not one thing, it's another, but at least we all have our health and we will have a place to live, but for Manny's sake, I hope everything goes smoothly one way or the other because it is really starting to wear on him (me too), but I don't like seeing him upset and stressed. I am so grateful for his parents and all the help they've provided so far, but it does make you feel in a way that you've failed in some one to be able to provide your child a house of his own...but as Manny's dad reminded us, it's not like we are having to live on the streets and in a couple months we should be back on our feet again and all of this is just temporary.
I can't wait for this to all be behind us and finally be able to relax with our little baby boy and enjoy our little family in our own home!
That's it in a nutshell! What a crazy, flipped around life we have right now...but that's life!