"Every good and perfect gift is from above" ~ James 1:17

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Reflections on our Big, Little man Adrian

I wrote this on facebook on Dec 7, 2012, and wanted to memorialize it here since it's a big step in our little man's life:  "*tear* *tear* my baby boy is growing up. He slept the ENTIRE night in his own bed last night. Went to sleep around 10:45pm & woke up at 8am this morning! When he woke, he grabbed his pillow and blanket and came to snuggle with me in bed. Now he keeps saying "I slept in my bed mommy" I tell him good job and he says "thank you." He's so pleased with himself and I'm so proud! I'd have to admit that at 4:30, I woke and couldn't sleep for over an hour...I missed my cuddle buddy, but I have to keep in mind that he'll sleep better there when we have a baby crying at night in +/-58 days :)"

Adrian is such an amazing kid and I can't help but always be amazed at him every day and how incredibly smart and loving our little boy is.  He is such a character and quite the conversationalist.  For instance, just today we were heading to my prenatal appt and I was singing along with the Christmas music.  All of a sudden Adrian starts shouting "enough, enough mommy!!" from the back seat haha  I couldn't help but laugh because a few days prior to this I was driving and singing and when the song was done, he said "good job mommy, woo hoo" and was clapping for me LOL  You never know what you're going to get with him, and I love it!  My most favorite times are when he climbs up on my lap and gives me a kiss and hug and says "I love you, mommy" just because.  I think I should start a book of Adrian-isms and write down all of the funny things he says and does, but it may be harder to do that once little brother comes along :) 

He is certainly exploring his independence and wants to do as much as he can by himself.  The biggest struggle we have these days is that he wants to buckle himself in his carseat, which is fine if I want to wait 10 mins before leaving, but if we're in a hurry or we've been in and out of the car several times already, I just don't have the patience any more.  He gets infuriated when I am the one to buckle him up, but what's a mom to do? (I'm just so mean lol) I am able to distract him sometimes and buckle him before he realizes that I've done it.  He also will not let me let Teddy outside or back in, and he always tells Manny to sit with him at his little table to eat dinner (or breakfast and lunch if it's the weekend).

It has been 12 days since Adrian started sleeping in his own bed (he spent the last 2 nights in bed with us only because he's been running a fever and I felt better about him being with us so I could monitor him more closely), and he has been doing great.  He doesn't wake up crying at all!  Most days he wakes up around 4:30 or so and will grab his blanket and pillow and come climb in bed with us.  A couple times he's slept until 7:30-8:00am.  Each time he comes back into the room with us, he exclaims, "slept in Thomas bed mommy, slept in Thomas bed dadda!"  and we tell him good job and he says "thank you!"  He's actually feeling a sense of accomplishment by sleeping by himself, and that makes me feel 100% justified in our co-sleeping choice from the beginning because I truly feel that it's what he needed.  I am also a little relieved at the same time with little brother coming that he's staying for long periods of time in his bed now without complaint, and I think that'll give me a good amount of time with a newborn getting up every couple of hours. :)  Next is potty training, but I don't think he's quite ready yet, but he's getting closer!

With all this growing up that Adrian has been doing, it's made me so thankful that I get to stay home with him everyday.  It's true that they grow up too fast but it's wonderful to observe all the new things he learns and picks up every day...I am always shocked when he says or does something that I have never seen him do before.  It's quite miraculous how quickly they pick up on things!  It also makes me a bit sad at times because I feel like these 2 years have flown by, so the 3 years he has until he starts school will surly go just as fast.  I often think about the day when I have to let him go off into the world on his own (especially those days when we've been at the park, and a kid is less than kind to him) and I can't be there to protect him anymore.  It will be such a hard day on me I'm sure. 

I already was having these feelings, but now even more-so after the tragic events that occurred this past Friday (Dec 14th) when 20 little kids lost their lives.  That, along with the shooting in the movie theatre in Colorado, and the shooting in the mall in Oregon, it just feels like there is no safe place to be or to send your kids today.  I wish that I could just keep my kids little and not have to let them go into the big world that is full of danger.  That is not realistic though, so it just makes me even more determined to continue telling my babies everyday that I love them and make sure that they know how much they are loved.  Even if Manny just takes Adrian on a quick little ride to the store, I always give him a hug and kiss...you just never know when you may never see them again (and I pray that we are all very old when that day comes).  I hope they (Adrian and his brother) grow up knowing that there is not a problem too big or too small that they cannot come to me with and that they are my everything.  I pray they come to us when they need encouragement and know that they are special and beautiful and worthy of everything that is great in this world.   I cannot imagine the extreme pain it must cause to have to send your baby off to heaven much too soon, and my heart and prayers go out to those families that lost their children in Connecticut.

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